by Mike Metz

Why The Summer Bummer?
"First, it rhymes, so there's that. And? … Did we mention the rhyming thing? … The Summer story is actually very serious (she gets kicked out of her beloved college), but the tone of the episode is very fun, almost screwball. So we wanted a title that sort of bridged those two aspects."
— Josh Schwartz (Creator and Executive Producer) and Stephanie Savage (Executive Producer), co-writers of "The Summer Bummer"

Dork Fight
Che rats out Summer. Summer receives the boot from Brown. Seth sets out to avenge his girlfriend's honor. It has all the makings of a WWE Smackdown Pay-Per-View special. Unfortunately for Seth, Che bounces Providence for the not-so-autumn conditions of Newport's Summer. While Seth attempts to find his way back to the Sunshine State, Che handcuffs himself to Summer and promises not to unlock the cuffs until amnesty avails. Seth finally arrives home, spots Che and gives him a vengeful push, accidentally sending his girlfriend into the clear blue of the Cooper-Roberts' aquatic basin. This mishap seems to be an allegory of the Summer/Che relationship purification. Summer accepts Che's apology; moments later, we learn Che is a rich kid from Connecticut with a butler, a jet and a compound. Thus, Seth's actions bring a resolution. Che's hippie front was a farce. What is not a farce is Seth's love for Summer. I mean Che is a big freaking dude and Seth shows no qualms about taking him on. Now Summer returns to her grandiose Newpsieness — probably something Seth prayed for all season. The question remains, however, can Seth deal with the new man in Summer's life: Pancakes?

Pulling the Kegger
Kaitlin learns if she does not receive an invitation to Riley's birthday party, it would be, like, "social suicide." In classic Kaitlin Cooper fashion, she responds by smoking a J behind the water polo bleachers – and throwing a rival kegger at her house (without permission from anyone). Everyone in school shows up at the Cooper-Roberts manor and 30-second keg stands ensue. Kaitlin, apparently adept in gay-dar, quickly figures out Riley's boyfriend is, well, into guys. She then welcomes a distraught Riley into her party (but not before commenting on her ho-of-a-non-costume). So in the end Kaitlin Cooper is the good girl — a young lady who supports young men's sexualities and young women's insecurities. She even cleans odd Sharpie comments off the foreheads of the Ward Twins. If not attending Riley's bash is considered social suicide, Kaitlin must be a homicidal maniac.

Taylor Tantalizing Trances
Taylor Townsend seductively crawls on the counter. Taylor Townsend beguilingly washes the windows. Taylor Townsend alluringly roller skates. Ryan Atwood muddlingly looks on. It is quite clear Ryan cannot stop thinking of Taylor (and honestly, especially the roller skate scene, how can you blame him?). When he finally gets his chance to make a move, he chickens out. Maybe Ryan has something about making out with girls while watching Anime. Maybe not. Taylor follows his actions by doing the most logical thing possible: make him jealous by bribing an attractive gay guy to pretend to be straight and totally into her. This, for some reason, totally works. Ryan, no longer with the ball in his court, must now win back Taylor; the same Taylor, who an episode earlier Ryan said there would never be a chance of dating. Funny how things change drastically in the matter of one episode in Newport. Ryan goes all Jacques Clouseau, finds out Taylor's crush has a crush on Riley's boyfriend, and makes his move. To everyone's surprise (insert hint of sarcasm here) Taylor immediately fesses up and the two end making up in the closet … for seven, eight, nine, maybe ten minutes.

Song of the Hour
"Stay Put," The Blood Arm

The O.C. Forecast

• Sandy supports Ryan and Taylor (because Anime is "totally gnarly")
• Summer finds a sister for Pancakes (named Toaster Strudel)
• Julie becomes the Madame Cooper of Newport (and kind of likes the new moniker)
• Taylor dreams of Ryan roller skating (yet quickly awakens in a heavy sweat due to the complete absurdity of such an occurrence)
• Kaitlin throws another kegger (hoping to get stuck in the closet with a guy who likes girls)
• Kirsten returns to the Montage restaurant with Sandy (but quickly sends back her filet because she finds a little Bullit in it)
• Seth finds a new home for Pancakes (at the shelter across the street from IHOP)
• Ryan goes on "Oprah" (and jumps up and down on the couch proclaiming his feelings for Taylor)
• Metz and the OC Orange Crush softball team finish the season 4-5-1 (and really wish they beat "King of the Hill" the first game of the season so they would have made the playoffs)